things are going.. okay at the moment.
giving in, changing attitudes
perhaps its gonna work out after all.
maybe not now
not tomorrow
but i know we're working in that direction
i know you want this as much as i do
we know.

and dear god please do not let my friday and her saturday change anything.
i don't think i can handle anymore turbulence.

i wanna lay you down in a bed of roses
for the night i'll sleep on a bed of nails

so much uncertainty yet amidst it all, you gave me your hand, warm and reassuring, telling me somehow somewhere i still have that place in your heart. and then i wonder, how much truth is there in that statement? emotionally drained yet less oppressed. sad yet happy. hurt yet relieved. i hope you won't take forever. i hope i won't take forever.i hope the fire goes on burning. i hope my passion doesn't die. i still love you. deep inside, i know i still do.

now where do i begin?
the last week of hols FLEW by, yes literally.
started having serious fun during the weekend.
met up w long-lost/current girlfriends.
and oh we had a ball! (we should know! it was kick-ass fun! :D)

drink drunk wasted.
fag fagged hooked.
bodies entwined, lips locked.
get the picture?

i'm sorry it wasn't your ideal anniversary celebration
i'm sorry i didn't fulfill whatever wish you had in mind
i'm sorry it wasn't just us alone in our world
i'm sorry i made you cry
but i still hope it was special in some way or another.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY!

i have a serious problem about skipping school
i seem to have turned it into my hobby.
and yes i skipped school again.
nonetheless, i still had fun on a supposedly Black Monday.

and i think i may skip again tomorrow.
(:

baby i don't know what exactly is running through your mind
suddenly everything seems ambiguous and unstable
but whatever it is
i really hope to see your smile everytime we do lift-rides and our silly songs
it doesn't matter if no words are exchanged when we walk
maybe sometimes walking in silence and enjoying the presence of each other is a good thing
please don't read too much into the lines?
i love you.

i almost lost you.
i dont know what to do now.
no ground rules laid for me
and you know i hate playing by my rules
cos every rule in my book is deemed as 'offside' by you.
and i dont wanna make the same mistake again.

i got that friend back.
but i dont know if its temporary or permanent.
time will tell.

i need cash.
AND I LOVE MY FRIENDS.
and you.
and me.
HAHAHA.

do away w emofucks. the paper was so emo it cut itself. -.-
an insight to a faggot's life: sleep at 6am, wake up at 4pm, eat, online. and it repeats in a cycle.
i'm happy that they're happy. and viewing their profiles and noting their oh-so-much love friendship makes me yearn for my darlings even more. W.A.N.T where are you guys! zo, felmon i miss you guys badly.

and i hate people who friend-jump.
like oh-so cute, get out of my life fucktard.
AND I HATE THE FUCKING WORD VERIFICATION I HAVE T DO AFTER I TYPE THIS POST.

oh and how can i forget the most important newsflash.
we lost it.

wonderful. all the repeated reminders for you to call me, your blockhead probably couldn't process it. like yes, i hate you to go out or out of the country simply cos you fucking lose your initiative and responsibility. you refuse to call me i don't know why. and shut the fuck up about your grandma nagging cos the bill is expensive. all i'm asking for is a missed call when you're leaving the place. but yeah. none came. oh why would you even care. after all worrying is your girlfriend's forte isn't it. and there's no harm making her worry. oh yes, it's your hobby to make me worry isn't it. fucking selfish shit.

on a lighter note, yesterday was love. (: and madness. thank you.

and to my darlings who left, only one of you will read this eventually. have a safe trip loves. and have a great time over there. i miss you guys badly.

yaya gave a pass for the short trip to malaysia.
now i'm stuck home alone w the grouch
but oh he's not that bad. (:
i'm bored to tears. guy pals entertaining me w some random ranting
yin asked me out for supper. and drinks but..

roar. and she called saying shes busy.
now people, tell me what should i do?

it's 8.40pm. not a single call from you.
i'm worried sick.
and time is crawling by.
and i'm lonely as hell.

retreats in one corner and croaks out Akon's Mr Lonely--

day one.

she left this morning and i didn't wake up to send her off
i slept through the calls
i'm a horrible thing.
i'm worried baby
where are the calls you promised me
it's been six hours and i miss you already.

stood my friends up for our coffee and dinner date.
i really am a mean rotten person.
but i'm feeling rotten inside.
someone understand please.

i want my life to be about rainbows and butterflies.
and with you, i'm halfway there.
i love you.

YOU'RE LEAVING TOMORROW!

sits in one corner and starts bawling-

i like it when gays unite, i really do
carefree conversations
laughs and love.
smiles and giggles

'i have this thing for older women'
'ah, no wonder. certain director, certain school huh?'

she's love. really.
cheeky grins, smiling eyes.
i enjoyed myself today. hell i did.
your charm is..
wow.

quarrel. came and went.
AND i love soccer i really do.
blah, pointless post.

I WANNA LALA. :D
shush. (:

love is everywhere.
smiling couples, sweet name-calling, featured in his and hers
haha, good! may i repeat, the world needs more love.
and I'm reminded of my own love.
the one i fell for almost a year back.
it still feels like the first time
i don't love you any less
my heart still beats faster when i see you
i still blush when you compliment me
i still get jealous when you pay more attention to others.

i love you baby.
and if you love me too, PLEASE GET WELL SOON.

and I've got this Thing for accents.
and I've always wanted t learn Thai.
catch my drift.
but oh baby, you're still my number one okay? (:

and i love my friends.
acquaintances, get out of my life. (:

crazy retard moodswings
previous post was madness

i feel oppressed today.
i want sex.
i want baby.
pouts.

sundays are horrible and depressing.
roar.

clock says 5:24am
no i'm not waiting to watch the breaking of dawn
i just felt like writing about a lost friendship.
a subject so sensitive i myself would avoid thinking about.
a person so different i myself wonder which was the real her.

the loyal friend. my pillar. the seemingly wiser one when it comes to relationships. the confident one. the more beautiful one. the one who commands the admiring stares when she sashays pass. i loved being her friend. i loved her. i wanted to protect her. like how she protected me. we went through a lot together. but always emerged victorious; our friendship somehow, stronger than before. she knew me inside out, she was let into my world. i wanted her to know, to understand me. and she tried to. i thought she was a friend that could last. now, a memory. how cruel life can be sometimes. this, i don't care. it's beyond my control. she blamed herself, vice versa. but really, whats the underlying issue? again, i don't care.

today i have learned. i learned about how people can be two-faced. how we shouldn't take words for real. that pure and innocent image, it's shattered. how stark the difference is. why and how does just a different gender change a person so drastically. why was it so. why couldn't you at least let me keep a good memory of you. i never wanted to know this side of you. deceit, pretense, masks. is this you? whatever. i don't care.

maybe now youd stop taking me as your dumb friend. the one you feed w lies. the one whom youd never bother telling the truth to. the one you act like she's your confidante. stop fucking treating me like a kid whose whines you'd pacify with lies. good riddance, darling. stay out of my life. and may you find love and happiness elsewhere. and may your new clique accept you as the two-faced thing that you are. i'm done with this, i'm done with you. drop your martyr act. you don't need it now.

i really wonder why i'm even bothering to post this. maybe it's for that3years and 2 months. i was right the first time round. a leopard can never change its spots.

I HATE YOU. SO SUE ME. (: