4th August

let it be a good memory, but kept six feet under.
its just gone. i cant feel it anymore. theres nothing t feel perhaps.
i like the way things are now.
hopefully you guys can keep it this way for me

two down, one t go.

-cheers myself on silently-
im sure everything will be alright.
then why am i worrying about it?

i found a new direction
more clear of what i want
more sure of how i feel
and now i can honestly say
i feel you.

its hard but im not gonna let it bring me down
i will get over it.
nothings gonna change
right?

dont ask why
just learn t shut up for once.

out of sight, out of mind.
thats the way t go.
and if it doesnt work out the way i want it t?
shrugs-
what can i say?

can this get any random-er!?

my school days are gonna be over soon.
to laugh or to cry?

everybody's changing.
i like some of the new thems
but others, i hate.
does it matter.
actually, not very much
they can change for all i care
theyre what id call the ins and outs.
they enter my life and leave without leaving anyth behind.

more of such t come. im only sixteen.

motivation comes from within.
i think mine got lost somewhere inside my ribcage
i cant seem t start hitting the books
and prelim's like a week away.
laugh w me.

what with all the prep talks, advices, dreams, aspirations etc
its still not enough t get me started
i dont know whats missing okay.

the drive t strive
ITS SO HARD T FIND THE FUCKING DRIVE
god.

the drive t fuck.
thats more like it
laugh w me.
=D

LEAVE HER CUTE TEXT MESSAGES.

KISS HER IN FR0NT 0F Y0UR FRIENDS.

TRUST HER 0VER EVERY0NE ELSE.

TELL HER SHE L00KS BEAUTIFUL.

L00K HER IN THE EYE WHEN Y0U TALK T0
HER.

TELL HER STUPID J0KES T0 MAKE HER
LAUGH.

LET HER MESS WITH Y0UR HAIR.

MESS WITH HER HAIR.

JUST WALK AR0UND WITH HER.

INCLUDE HER IN ALL THINGS Y0U D0.

WHEN SHE CRYS D0 WHATEVER IT TAKES T0
MAKE HER SMIlE.

F0RGIVE HER F0R HER MISTAKES.

L00K AT HER LIKES SHE'S THE 0NLY GIRL Y0U
SEE.

TICKLE HER EVEN WHEN SHE SAYS ST0P.

H0LD HER HAND EVEN WHEN Y0U ARE
AROUND Y0UR FRIENDS.

WHEN SHE STARTS SWEARING AT Y0U TELL
HER Y0U L0VE HER.

LET HER FALL ASLEEP IN Y0UR ARMS.

GET HER MAD, THEN KISS HER.

TEASE HER & LET HER TEASE Y0U BACK.

STAY UP WITH HER ALL NIGHT WHEN SHES
SICK.

WATCH HER FAV0RITE M0VIE.

KISS HER F0REHEAD.

GIVE HER THE W0RLD.

WRITE HER LETTERS.

LET HER WEAR Y0UR CL0THES.

WHEN SHES SAD, HANG 0UT WITH HER.

LET HER KN0W SHE'S IMP0RTANT.

LET HER TAKE ALL THE PH0T0S 0F Y0U SHE
WANTS.

KISS HER IN THE RAIN.

CALL HER EVERY NIGHT.

AND WHEN Y0U FALL IN L0VE WITH HER, TELL
HER.

L0VE HER LIKE Y0U NEVER L0VED BEF0RE.

those cliche love stories that you read about in stories
everlasting love, perfect fairytale endings, bliss
theyre so deceiving.
why wouldnt it be all nice and perfect?
when they have left out the truths
the unavoidable arguments, the doubts.

life's a balance
even in love
one minute youre on cloud 9
the other minute you come crashing down
if only things were that easy
if only..

everything's exhausting me at a terrifying pace
and i know it is exhausting you too
lets not mask our true emotions shall we?

and then i think of losing you
i realise i cant deal w that

WHAT NEXT!?
fuck.

expectations. so many expectations.
im drowning under the pressure.

stop telling me what t do.
why dont you try being in my shoes?
then perhaps youd shut your damn trap.

often it is easy t dictate what should be done
what is the RIGHT thing, and how a perfect solution can be worked out
WHY?
because youre fucking out of the picture.
youre seeing things from an outsider's point of view.
you dont know exactly the degree of complication thats involved

then i ask myself,
in that case why ask for someone else's opinions?
when you bloody know theyre often insanely beyond what i can do.

THIS, is Life.
i mean. at least this is what i think Life is
after 16 years here.
t any faggot who's in the prime of his life and wants t preach about my perception,
PLEASE. everyone's entitled t their own opinions arent they?

irritating, really.
stop breathing down my neck.
THANKYOU.