and as i read your october 05' posts, i see myself in you. especially the one above october 26th. then i feel confused. if its me that i see in you, that means youve gone through this before. and if youve gone through this before, why cant you understand how i feel?

no, wait a minute. youre not supposed to understand. because im too complicated arent i?

honestly, did you even TRY?

now im onto your november 05' posts. and what the hell is happening? i still see myself in you. its crazy the way God plays His tricks on us. youre ME and you dont realise it. hahaha. im hating every minute of this shit. so fuck it. im tired. so tired.

lets take a break from life. if only we could live and die in a continuous cycle. like this, i'd jump out of my window now. and lie on the cold concrete pavement with the blood flowing from my head, staining my clothes. and then slowly my world will be engulfed in darkness. WOW. what a temptation.

then when ive had enough of feeling lonely and bla, then i can come back to life. and live like a normal person. omg omg omg. why arent we created this way? why must we die and be gone forever? i guess thats God's way of putting us to the test- whether we're willing to forgo everything in our lives and leave this world for eternal bliss, rid ourselves of suffering, numb all our emotions etc. honestly, its sucha temptation. hahaha.

sometimes i dont understand the way my brain functions. i think im suffering from some mental disorder.
.smraruoyotninurannawtnoditeyyldabosuoyssimi
.yawaemhsuplluoydiarfatsujmiknihti
BYE BLOG. i hate you.